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11.5.17

hey friends. i haven't been on in a long while, and for that i apologize.  it's been pretty wild- back to back competitions, crazy insane amounts of homework, trying to see danny often, working.. and then somewhere in there i have to get some kind of sleep.  all of this is kind of accumulating to create my typical pre-holiday depression.  every year since my freshman year of high school i have gotten severely depressed in the months leading into the holidays. most likely due to my lack of sleep and the fact that i don't eat regularly enough- but also... shitty things just happen. on a different note, danny is depressed.  i'm really worried about him to be honest.  but the problem is, i don't know how to help.  if it was an emotional depression, or something chemically off in his head, then i would- lord knows ive handled that pleanty.  but he's talking about killing himself just to see what it's like- just to see what is on the other side.  eve...
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9.13.17

So in, "The Power of Vulnerability," Brown talks about an, "opportunity for growth." This said opportunity is really most peoples way of saying, "fix this and you'll be set," or maybe its their way of keeping their minions in check, keep things from going to their head.  But what I took from this particular part of the speech, is how humans so dutifully focus on the negative aspect of life.  If your boss gave you 37 different things that you do very well, and only one thing that you could do better, why is it that humans can only find themselves looking at that one thing?  I believe the answer is the circle thingy, it is definitely at work here.  When people are told things like this, they are so caught up in themselves and can't seem to get past the fact that they are not perfect.       Also, I think the negatives are the things that cause people the most pain, which is why we remember them so vividly.  When Brown talked about asking people abo...
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9.5.17

hello friend beans.     i hope everyone had a magical three day weekend. today i went and watched a tennis match for the first time and i found that there is something very soothing about sitting in good company and watching tennis balls fly back and forth.  i also learned something about my friendships with people today:             if some is really your friend, then it does not matter how long passes in between talking to them. it doesn't matter if you just screw around with the bass turned up in their beat up mini van or if you talk about how mental illness is on the rise in the country and the effect it has on the youth and therefore the future of society.  it doesn't matter what you talk about or what you do, if someone is your real friend, then you will have a good time regardless.      today i spent hours with someone i have been friends with for 5 years.  i never would have thought that i would find myself...
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9.3.17

     so i started a blog.  and i'm not 100% sure just why i did it, because honestly who is going to want to read my dumb opinions? probably no one.  but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter if anyone reads it right now, or even in 100 years.  i think what this blog will do for me is serve as a creative outlet.  there are so many things that i do, that i write, that i create, thoughts that i have, that will never see the light of day and will never grace the presence of someone's thoughts, if not because i am embarrassed of them, then because they are too precious to share with those that know me well.       i think, that sometimes there things that you cant tell anyone you know.  not because you don't trust them- but because you do.  sometimes when you tell your best friend something, they understand what it means almost before you do, just because they know you so well.  and then, there are some thing...
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