11.5.17

hey friends.
i haven't been on in a long while, and for that i apologize.  it's been pretty wild- back to back competitions, crazy insane amounts of homework, trying to see danny often, working.. and then somewhere in there i have to get some kind of sleep.  all of this is kind of accumulating to create my typical pre-holiday depression.  every year since my freshman year of high school i have gotten severely depressed in the months leading into the holidays. most likely due to my lack of sleep and the fact that i don't eat regularly enough- but also... shitty things just happen.

on a different note, danny is depressed.  i'm really worried about him to be honest.  but the problem is, i don't know how to help.  if it was an emotional depression, or something chemically off in his head, then i would- lord knows ive handled that pleanty.  but he's talking about killing himself just to see what it's like- just to see what is on the other side.  everything with him is so experimental, so.... scientific- even his depression.  somethings i just don't know anything about- don't even know how to approach it.  this is one of those things, and i just wish i was more capable of helping.  it breaks my heart to see him this way.

i hope everyone is having a nice time.

love always,
elise

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